With another April Fools day in the record books, it’s time to review what kind of pranks the automakers have been getting up to. It’s funny to see the extremes they’ll go to just to prove they actually have a sense of humour. Here are our favourites from this year.
First up, the runner up for the best 2013 April Fool’s prank by an Automaker…
BWM P.R.A.M.
With a royal baby due this summer, BMW proudly announced the launch of the limited edition BMW P.R.A.M. (Postnatal Royal Auto Mobile). Available in Princess Pink or Royal Blue. The soft-top convertible has been designed using our EfficientDynamics technology. With two or four-wheel-drive, it rides as smoothly on a polo field as it does down The Mall and comes with air conditioning and built-in extendable flagpoles as standard. For those who are ‘too posh to push’ this masterpiece of motherhood even comes fitted with N.A.P.P.I.E. (Nanny-Assisting Petrol-Powered Injection Engine).
Camaro Thrill-o-Meter
The performance enhanced 2014 Chevrolet Camaro will no longer be offered with a speedometer – instead, a Thrill-o-Meter has been added. Please exercise caution.
BMW Mini – Connect Us Ap
“Get connected, get matched up, get dating” is the name of the game when it comes to using MINI Connected’s vast well of possibilities to steer your way to love. The latest version of the MINI Connected App is playing cupid to make MINI fans’ dreams of finding the perfect partner come true. Connect Us is like nothing else out there on planet dating – and can only be used in a MINI. This is not just the world’s speediest dating service, it is also the most reliable. Here, at last, is a matchmaker that goes beyond personal interests, favourite activities and how you like to spend your free time – and gets down to the nitty-gritty: driving style. Connect Us compares how drivers like to treat their accelerator, steering wheel and brakes (as deduced by the MINI Driving Excitement Analyser) in the search for a compatible co-driver on the journey of love.
Volvo External Vehicle Protection (EnVeloP) System
Volvo has always pushed the envelope on safety technology, and now they’re working toward preventing injuries not just inside the car but for pedestrians and cyclists that use the roadways as well.
The new 2013 Volvo V40 will come equipped with a sophisticated passenger protection system that includes an external airbag which comes as a part of the suite of preventative safety features collectively known as City Safety. The EnVeloP system consists of a small container built in the roof of the car, which contains a folded-in, vacuum pulled balloon of similar material to existing airbags. In the case of an impending collision, whether it’s with another car, a roadside object or even when coming into contact with surface water, the balloon unfolds within the blink of an eye around the car, completely enveloping the car and ensuring damage is minimised.
Nissan Toast-R
Meet the Nissan Sandwich Toast-R. It blasts sandwiches from 0-to-grilled in 2.9 seconds, making it the world’s highest-performance toastie maker. Lunchtime just got a whole lot faster.
Toyota Announces The BTVC – British Touring Van Championship
Toyota’s UK division announced that it will enter its new Proace van in the newly-established British Touring Van Championship. The Japanese carmaker said three UK independent touring car teams have already signed up to use the new race-prepped Proace vans.
“The Touring Van Championship is just the kind of cost-conscious racing Britain needs,” said championship spokesman Gideon ‘Gig’ Gleman. “The Proace carries up to 1.2 tonnes in its 7m3 loadspace, so everything you need to go racing can be carried in the back. No big trucks, no catering wagons, no fancy-dan hospitality units – if it won’t fit in the Proace then it’s not needed at the circuit.”
And finally, our top pick for best 2013 April Fool’s prank by an Automaker ….
Callaway Corvette AeroWagonette
This one by far has the best Press Release … please take an extra moment to read it below. Thanks for the chuckle Callaway!
The design department at Callaway Cars released an iteration of its recent AeroWagon Concept.
The AeroWagonette unit has been developed in response to the many requests that small children be accommodated into the AeroWagon plans. Designer Paul Deutschman responded with a unique capsule that will allow up to three children to ride along behind their parents in the appropriate amount of isolation. The experience will be particularly effective for children who tend to be bothersome or otherwise inappropriate.
Since the Callaway AeroWagon is capable of speeds in excess of 200 mph, a ‘ timeout ‘ in the AeroWagonette should prove terrifying to even the most boisterous of offspring. Callaway Cars founder, Reeves Callaway states: We have several children assigned to the testing role already. Callaway admits that the Scared Straight, or its more aggressive, Scared S**tless technique, can be very effective.
SpacEx founder Elon Musk could be engaged to supply the coupling / de-coupling strategy first used in the docking of the ISS. The AeroWagonette will be self-balancing. Segway inventor Dean Kamen and Google founder Sergey Brin will be asked to meld the self-righting technology with the autonomous vehicle routines that will allow the driver to elect a Retrieve or Refuse strategy for re-docking. At the driver’s command, the unit can be de-coupled and continue unimpeded, upright, however without directional control. Also at the driver’s command will be 14 separate and remotely deployable airbags within the AeroWagonette.
Feedback regarding the AeroWagonette is being collected at callawaycars.com
Orders will be accepted only on April 1, 2013. No price will be announced as early adopters have proclaimed it “Priceless…”
© 2013 by Iain Shankland. All rights reserved.